Monday, February 15, 2010

Overheard... [A Forgotten Post]

Okay, this is crazy: I just realized I never posted this, which I wrote over a year ago and fully intended to edit/add to. It's so funny to re-read where we were and what life with Eliza was like, just before Owen was born. Read on and enjoy...:)




I think I say it to myself every 6 months, but I really love this phase that Eliza's in right now. The good thing about her speech becoming so clear is that we can have so much fun with her; the bad thing about her speech still not being perfect is that she unleashes her fury when she is not understood! Of course, the daughter of a speech therapist has little tolerance for a mother who can't find a way to communicate effectively with her. :) Here are some things we HAVE been able to understand lately that have made us laugh:

[As Adam is getting her bath ready]
Me: Adam, I think Eliza's not feeling so hot, so you may want to make bathtime short.
Adam: Eliza, are you feeling a little bit sick?
Eliza: Mm-hmm...I'm sick of MOMMY.

Amen, Eliza. Amen. I'm sick of being Mommy, too....and after a day like today, you're not exactly my very favorite person right this moment, either.


[Earlier, I had goofily told Eliza that it makes Mommy happy when she sings the song "Jingle Bells" .....This exchange was again, at bathtime, once she realizes I'm the one bathing her that night...]
Eliza: Daddy?
Me: Daddy went to his soccer game, honey. Mommy's doing bathtime tonight.
Eliza: I no like Mommy help me with bath.
Me: Oh, Eliza, that makes Mommy very sad.
Eliza: [with head down, scowling, under her breath] Jingle Bells.


[In Adam's bathroom downstairs, Eliza comes running in after me]
Eliza: [stares at me for a moment as I do my business] Momma no have a wee-wee.
Me: No, Eliza, Mommy doesn't have a wee-wee.
Eliza: Dada have a wee-wee, Ben and Jakey have a wee-wee.
Me: Yes, Eliza, boys have wee-wees, but not girls.
Eliza: Not Mommy and Eliza! No have no wee-wees. [And runs out of the bathroom]


[In the car, riding in silence while she eats a snack]
Eliza: Mama big.
Me: Yes, Eliza, Mommy IS big. ( Thanks for that. )
Eliza: Eliza is little, teeny-tiny.
Me: Yep, Eliza. I'm very big. You're very little.

[The morning after Adam and I returned from a false labor scare at the hospital]
Adam: Eliza, Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital last night because baby Owen's going to be here soon!
Eliza: [pauses and thinks for a moment] I'm so happy! Eliza going to be a big sister!
Adam: Yeah, Eliza, that's right. Mommy's home today, but she doesn't feel very good, so we have to take care of her.
Eliza: [grunting, with her arms in front of her] Ughhhh....she's so heavy!!

[All of us playing quietly in the basement one evening]
Eliza: What was that noise?
Me: What noise? I didn't hear any noises.
Eliza: Momma tooted! ( to be clear, I did NOT toot )
Me: Mommy didn't toot, Eliza! I think you tooted!
Eliza: No, I no toot.
[And as she walks past me, I catch a whiff of a fresh, crop-duster toot straight from Eliza's bottom. :) ]

There are so many more things that are share-worthy that just don't translate well in writing, or even second-hand through conversation, but suffice it to say that Eliza's much more entertaining as a companion these days!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Worst Movies Ever Made

After watching one of the worst movies I've ever seen over the weekend, I started thinking about just HOW many bad movies are out there, and how many of them I've seen. After polling The Facebook for suggestions/reminders of movies I have been forced to sit through (but then tried my hardest to forget), I've come up with a list of what I consider to be some top-notch stinkers you should save your money and time on:

1. The Break-Up --not funny, as it was marketed
2. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past--knew it was going to be bad, but watched it with family anyway....next up: how to get 2 hours of my life back....
3. Failure to Launch--didn't even make it through the first 20 minutes. Again with the Matthew McConaughey...
4. Very Bad Things--title says it all.
5. He's Just Not That Into You--honestly, this only makes the list because of how truly sad and just....true...it is; doesn't deserve romantic COMEDY status.
6. Dan In Real Life--again; depressing and not very funny, like you'd expect from the one and only Steve Carell.
7. Leatherheads.....thought that "Jim" from The Office would save this one. He didn't. It was terrible.
8. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - "Wait.....what?" was my thought throughout the entire movie.

Easy to see from my list that a movie fails BIG time with me if it's marketed as hilarious, but is suspiciously missing the funny. It makes me feel betrayed and believe me, when this mama actually MAKES it to the theater and takes out a loan to buy movie tickets and snacks, she does NOT like to be not-laughing at a movie that's supposed to entertain to no end. I do realize, though, that I've set the bar pretty high, as I myself am pretty hilarious. Any others that should make this list?