There are fewer things in this life that make me happier than laughing at people making fools out of themselves. Mostly because I'm SO glad I'm not the only one screwing up publicly left and right!
Anyway, YouTube has to be one of the things I am most grateful to have in this wonderful Information/Technology Age, because it gives people like me access to watch endless amounts of falling down and/or sticking feet in mouths. :)
Over the years, my favorites have been piling up, and I've been meaning to post a Top 10 list somewhere on The Internets to share with y'all and save you the time of digging around or waiting on someone to send you a link to a viral video to make your day. And here we are, in no particular order:
1. My Name is John Daker
2. But...he's gay!
3. Miss America
4. Worst Olympic Trial Ever
5. Model Falls Down
6. Auto Tune the News
7. Baby Talking at Dinner
8. Guy Sings 5 Octaves
9. Pinky the Cat
10. Scarlet Takes a Tumble
11. The Way
PS You should be aware that if you are pregnant, or otherwise have a full bladder, it's in your best interest to use the bathroom before viewing these videos.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Overheard... [A Forgotten Post]
Okay, this is crazy: I just realized I never posted this, which I wrote over a year ago and fully intended to edit/add to. It's so funny to re-read where we were and what life with Eliza was like, just before Owen was born. Read on and enjoy...:)
I think I say it to myself every 6 months, but I really love this phase that Eliza's in right now. The good thing about her speech becoming so clear is that we can have so much fun with her; the bad thing about her speech still not being perfect is that she unleashes her fury when she is not understood! Of course, the daughter of a speech therapist has little tolerance for a mother who can't find a way to communicate effectively with her. :) Here are some things we HAVE been able to understand lately that have made us laugh:
[As Adam is getting her bath ready]
Me: Adam, I think Eliza's not feeling so hot, so you may want to make bathtime short.
Adam: Eliza, are you feeling a little bit sick?
Eliza: Mm-hmm...I'm sick of MOMMY.
Amen, Eliza. Amen. I'm sick of being Mommy, too....and after a day like today, you're not exactly my very favorite person right this moment, either.
[Earlier, I had goofily told Eliza that it makes Mommy happy when she sings the song "Jingle Bells" .....This exchange was again, at bathtime, once she realizes I'm the one bathing her that night...]
Eliza: Daddy?
Me: Daddy went to his soccer game, honey. Mommy's doing bathtime tonight.
Eliza: I no like Mommy help me with bath.
Me: Oh, Eliza, that makes Mommy very sad.
Eliza: [with head down, scowling, under her breath] Jingle Bells.
[In Adam's bathroom downstairs, Eliza comes running in after me]
Eliza: [stares at me for a moment as I do my business] Momma no have a wee-wee.
Me: No, Eliza, Mommy doesn't have a wee-wee.
Eliza: Dada have a wee-wee, Ben and Jakey have a wee-wee.
Me: Yes, Eliza, boys have wee-wees, but not girls.
Eliza: Not Mommy and Eliza! No have no wee-wees. [And runs out of the bathroom]
[In the car, riding in silence while she eats a snack]
Eliza: Mama big.
Me: Yes, Eliza, Mommy IS big. ( Thanks for that. )
Eliza: Eliza is little, teeny-tiny.
Me: Yep, Eliza. I'm very big. You're very little.
[The morning after Adam and I returned from a false labor scare at the hospital]
Adam: Eliza, Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital last night because baby Owen's going to be here soon!
Eliza: [pauses and thinks for a moment] I'm so happy! Eliza going to be a big sister!
Adam: Yeah, Eliza, that's right. Mommy's home today, but she doesn't feel very good, so we have to take care of her.
Eliza: [grunting, with her arms in front of her] Ughhhh....she's so heavy!!
[All of us playing quietly in the basement one evening]
Eliza: What was that noise?
Me: What noise? I didn't hear any noises.
Eliza: Momma tooted! ( to be clear, I did NOT toot )
Me: Mommy didn't toot, Eliza! I think you tooted!
Eliza: No, I no toot.
[And as she walks past me, I catch a whiff of a fresh, crop-duster toot straight from Eliza's bottom. :) ]
There are so many more things that are share-worthy that just don't translate well in writing, or even second-hand through conversation, but suffice it to say that Eliza's much more entertaining as a companion these days!
I think I say it to myself every 6 months, but I really love this phase that Eliza's in right now. The good thing about her speech becoming so clear is that we can have so much fun with her; the bad thing about her speech still not being perfect is that she unleashes her fury when she is not understood! Of course, the daughter of a speech therapist has little tolerance for a mother who can't find a way to communicate effectively with her. :) Here are some things we HAVE been able to understand lately that have made us laugh:
[As Adam is getting her bath ready]
Me: Adam, I think Eliza's not feeling so hot, so you may want to make bathtime short.
Adam: Eliza, are you feeling a little bit sick?
Eliza: Mm-hmm...I'm sick of MOMMY.
Amen, Eliza. Amen. I'm sick of being Mommy, too....and after a day like today, you're not exactly my very favorite person right this moment, either.
[Earlier, I had goofily told Eliza that it makes Mommy happy when she sings the song "Jingle Bells" .....This exchange was again, at bathtime, once she realizes I'm the one bathing her that night...]
Eliza: Daddy?
Me: Daddy went to his soccer game, honey. Mommy's doing bathtime tonight.
Eliza: I no like Mommy help me with bath.
Me: Oh, Eliza, that makes Mommy very sad.
Eliza: [with head down, scowling, under her breath] Jingle Bells.
[In Adam's bathroom downstairs, Eliza comes running in after me]
Eliza: [stares at me for a moment as I do my business] Momma no have a wee-wee.
Me: No, Eliza, Mommy doesn't have a wee-wee.
Eliza: Dada have a wee-wee, Ben and Jakey have a wee-wee.
Me: Yes, Eliza, boys have wee-wees, but not girls.
Eliza: Not Mommy and Eliza! No have no wee-wees. [And runs out of the bathroom]
[In the car, riding in silence while she eats a snack]
Eliza: Mama big.
Me: Yes, Eliza, Mommy IS big. ( Thanks for that. )
Eliza: Eliza is little, teeny-tiny.
Me: Yep, Eliza. I'm very big. You're very little.
[The morning after Adam and I returned from a false labor scare at the hospital]
Adam: Eliza, Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital last night because baby Owen's going to be here soon!
Eliza: [pauses and thinks for a moment] I'm so happy! Eliza going to be a big sister!
Adam: Yeah, Eliza, that's right. Mommy's home today, but she doesn't feel very good, so we have to take care of her.
Eliza: [grunting, with her arms in front of her] Ughhhh....she's so heavy!!
[All of us playing quietly in the basement one evening]
Eliza: What was that noise?
Me: What noise? I didn't hear any noises.
Eliza: Momma tooted! ( to be clear, I did NOT toot )
Me: Mommy didn't toot, Eliza! I think you tooted!
Eliza: No, I no toot.
[And as she walks past me, I catch a whiff of a fresh, crop-duster toot straight from Eliza's bottom. :) ]
There are so many more things that are share-worthy that just don't translate well in writing, or even second-hand through conversation, but suffice it to say that Eliza's much more entertaining as a companion these days!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Worst Movies Ever Made
After watching one of the worst movies I've ever seen over the weekend, I started thinking about just HOW many bad movies are out there, and how many of them I've seen. After polling The Facebook for suggestions/reminders of movies I have been forced to sit through (but then tried my hardest to forget), I've come up with a list of what I consider to be some top-notch stinkers you should save your money and time on:
1. The Break-Up --not funny, as it was marketed
2. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past--knew it was going to be bad, but watched it with family anyway....next up: how to get 2 hours of my life back....
3. Failure to Launch--didn't even make it through the first 20 minutes. Again with the Matthew McConaughey...
4. Very Bad Things--title says it all.
5. He's Just Not That Into You--honestly, this only makes the list because of how truly sad and just....true...it is; doesn't deserve romantic COMEDY status.
6. Dan In Real Life--again; depressing and not very funny, like you'd expect from the one and only Steve Carell.
7. Leatherheads.....thought that "Jim" from The Office would save this one. He didn't. It was terrible.
8. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - "Wait.....what?" was my thought throughout the entire movie.
Easy to see from my list that a movie fails BIG time with me if it's marketed as hilarious, but is suspiciously missing the funny. It makes me feel betrayed and believe me, when this mama actually MAKES it to the theater and takes out a loan to buy movie tickets and snacks, she does NOT like to be not-laughing at a movie that's supposed to entertain to no end. I do realize, though, that I've set the bar pretty high, as I myself am pretty hilarious. Any others that should make this list?
1. The Break-Up --not funny, as it was marketed
2. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past--knew it was going to be bad, but watched it with family anyway....next up: how to get 2 hours of my life back....
3. Failure to Launch--didn't even make it through the first 20 minutes. Again with the Matthew McConaughey...
4. Very Bad Things--title says it all.
5. He's Just Not That Into You--honestly, this only makes the list because of how truly sad and just....true...it is; doesn't deserve romantic COMEDY status.
6. Dan In Real Life--again; depressing and not very funny, like you'd expect from the one and only Steve Carell.
7. Leatherheads.....thought that "Jim" from The Office would save this one. He didn't. It was terrible.
8. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - "Wait.....what?" was my thought throughout the entire movie.
Easy to see from my list that a movie fails BIG time with me if it's marketed as hilarious, but is suspiciously missing the funny. It makes me feel betrayed and believe me, when this mama actually MAKES it to the theater and takes out a loan to buy movie tickets and snacks, she does NOT like to be not-laughing at a movie that's supposed to entertain to no end. I do realize, though, that I've set the bar pretty high, as I myself am pretty hilarious. Any others that should make this list?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Don't get too excited.....deliriously boring post ahead!
Okay, I’ve sat down to write this blog at least 30 times in the past 3 months…..well, I’ve at least mentally sat down to write it, but alas, nothing. I was motivated until I watched the movie Julie & Julia, a true story about a lady who blogs daily about making every one of Julia Child’s recipes from her first cookbook of French recipes. The movie was okay, but in one scene, she and her husband have a fight, because the blog is taking over her thoughts and their conversations. From her husband’s point of view, the blog and her followers have turned her into a narcissistic, self-absorbed person that he is annoyed to be around. At one point, he called her out, saying the thought of herself as “the center of the universe” and that her readers would “commit mass blogger suicide” if she didn’t post one day.
For some reason, that scene kept sticking with me every time I opened my computer to sit down and write another blog. What was/is my purpose in blogging? I remember reading the first blog I had ever seen and thought, “Holy crap! This person is journaling online! For the whole world to read!” Oh, how times have changed, and people journal online daily. More than that, people subscribe—I subscribe—to people’s “journal entries”, and most of them, I’ve never met! How bizarre, this information age we live in…..
I’ll be the first to admit that there are many bloggers out there who have really cool inspirations for their blogs; my friend Joy blogs about her personal goals that are listed on the sidebar of her blog, several friends I know blog once a week to update their far-off relatives about the highlights of their family’s weeks, some blog to keep the masses of prayer warriors updated on their loved ones’ health statuses, and still others blog as a means to make money through ads on their pages.
As for me? I got none of those. Don’t really know the purpose of my blog, which makes it super-hard to 1) know what to write about and 2) justify the amount of energy it takes. (BTW, I’ve decided that it’s no longer the “time” I don’t have to do it: if I can find time to do insane nesting things like clean the cabinet under my sink and scrub my trash can, I can find/make the time. The issue lately has been the energy to do much else besides get dressed [if that] and keep my child dressed, clean, fed, happy and in dry panties [if that]. So many things competing for my energy, and so little of it to go around….wish I could consume more caffeine!).
And lastly, when I do have the time/energy and a topic to blog about, I agonize over the following, “Should I change that word? That sounds stupid. This would be funnier. That would sound smarter. Is this even worthy of mentioning? Is anyone going to read all of this? Geez, this is an awful lot of back-spacing and editing and cutting and pasting, all for a blog (which, BTW sounds a whole lot like “blah” or “blech”, both of which are the adjectives coming to mind to describe this very blog) that doesn’t have much of a point, anyway, and probably no one will read.”
Ahhhh…..insecurity manifested once again in yet another corner of my life! Ooh, and another thing: Adam and I have a strict honesty policy about talking issues w/ each other first, and it has been the glue that holds our marriage together. I could never blog about something without having a conversation with him about it first. Yet another roadblock to freely sitting down to blog.
Zzzzz…….zzzzz……Sorry. I am boring myself to sleep!
Back to the original discussion: why blog? And where do you draw the line between INFORMING others about your life and ENTERTAINING others?
So there it is. I’ll be thinking about the purpose of this blog (besides making fancy little decorations and the handy-dandy list of other peoples’ more-entertaining-than-mine-blogs that I follow—if you followed all the way through the horrible grammar in that sentence fragment, congratulations: we made it through that thought together, just barely), and when I have something that has more actual CONTENT and, you know, interesting things to read, I’ll wait around for another 3 months and then post it.
As a reward for reading this whole thing, here's a picture:
You're welcome.
For some reason, that scene kept sticking with me every time I opened my computer to sit down and write another blog. What was/is my purpose in blogging? I remember reading the first blog I had ever seen and thought, “Holy crap! This person is journaling online! For the whole world to read!” Oh, how times have changed, and people journal online daily. More than that, people subscribe—I subscribe—to people’s “journal entries”, and most of them, I’ve never met! How bizarre, this information age we live in…..
I’ll be the first to admit that there are many bloggers out there who have really cool inspirations for their blogs; my friend Joy blogs about her personal goals that are listed on the sidebar of her blog, several friends I know blog once a week to update their far-off relatives about the highlights of their family’s weeks, some blog to keep the masses of prayer warriors updated on their loved ones’ health statuses, and still others blog as a means to make money through ads on their pages.
As for me? I got none of those. Don’t really know the purpose of my blog, which makes it super-hard to 1) know what to write about and 2) justify the amount of energy it takes. (BTW, I’ve decided that it’s no longer the “time” I don’t have to do it: if I can find time to do insane nesting things like clean the cabinet under my sink and scrub my trash can, I can find/make the time. The issue lately has been the energy to do much else besides get dressed [if that] and keep my child dressed, clean, fed, happy and in dry panties [if that]. So many things competing for my energy, and so little of it to go around….wish I could consume more caffeine!).
And lastly, when I do have the time/energy and a topic to blog about, I agonize over the following, “Should I change that word? That sounds stupid. This would be funnier. That would sound smarter. Is this even worthy of mentioning? Is anyone going to read all of this? Geez, this is an awful lot of back-spacing and editing and cutting and pasting, all for a blog (which, BTW sounds a whole lot like “blah” or “blech”, both of which are the adjectives coming to mind to describe this very blog) that doesn’t have much of a point, anyway, and probably no one will read.”
Ahhhh…..insecurity manifested once again in yet another corner of my life! Ooh, and another thing: Adam and I have a strict honesty policy about talking issues w/ each other first, and it has been the glue that holds our marriage together. I could never blog about something without having a conversation with him about it first. Yet another roadblock to freely sitting down to blog.
Zzzzz…….zzzzz……Sorry. I am boring myself to sleep!
Back to the original discussion: why blog? And where do you draw the line between INFORMING others about your life and ENTERTAINING others?
So there it is. I’ll be thinking about the purpose of this blog (besides making fancy little decorations and the handy-dandy list of other peoples’ more-entertaining-than-mine-blogs that I follow—if you followed all the way through the horrible grammar in that sentence fragment, congratulations: we made it through that thought together, just barely), and when I have something that has more actual CONTENT and, you know, interesting things to read, I’ll wait around for another 3 months and then post it.
As a reward for reading this whole thing, here's a picture:
You're welcome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)