Thursday, March 31, 2011

Someone Grab A Bucket....

That's right: it's 'blog vomit,' Round Two. Seeing as how my bff Rachael confirmed to me that a) someone other than me reads this blog and b) I am as hilarious as I thought, I decided to stick with a formula that works.

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize this, but Conan is now on at 11pm, which means I will NEVER be forced to watch the local late news again. I know that this blog is read internationally, so for readers who aren't familiar with H-town, the news lineup goes something like this: begin with arrests, drug confiscations, murders, robberies and domestic violence incidents, segue into the failing economy and how many jobs have been lost that day, move on to how horribly unhealthy our state is, and wrap it up with a nice segment on national research studies that show how breathing air may or may not cause cancer and also how every single choice we make in our lives is (possibly) killing us.

Conan is a guarantee WIN compared to local news (and 98% of other 11pm programming).

I really, really, really stink at sewing. Although I'm blaming tonight's frustration and poor outcomes on my mom's cranky sewing machine. Seriously? There's wayyyyyy more than enough attitude in this house coming from my kids. I sure don't need it coming from a machine that is--hello!--replaceable. Although, I think all of the hand-stitching I had to do is the culprit behind the intermittent numbness in my left index finger.

I think I'd love to sleep for approximately 3.2 days, straight. Not only would I be more rested than EVER, I would probably also lose weight, I'd have an insane amount of energy, and I could avoid having to plan/make/serve/clean up 3 days' worth of meals. However, I'm pretty sure it would look like our house exploded if Adam was taking care of the kids for 3 straight days. After 2 hours of him alone with them, I can usually see 2% of the hardwood floors in my house, and generally neither kid is still fully clothed.

I love my Sunday School class.

I'm so tired--I think I'll try going to bed at the same time the kids do tomorrow night.....which means I'll probably be awake at 4am; at which point you'll probably find another delightful post much like this. Get excited, y'all


The end.

PS Why is the show called "Tosh.0"? Anyone?

PPS Is Daniel Tosh gay or not? Does anyone REALLY know for sure? (And don't check Wikipedia, because it's not decisive on the matter; I already checked it.)

PPPS Which reminds me.....someday, I'd like to edit an article on Wikipedia just for fun. According to Michael Scott, "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." So wise. :)

3 comments:

  1. I thought I knew the reason that Tosh.0 is the name- but now that I'm trying to explain it, I have no idea. But I do love his web redemptions hahaha :) Did you see the one he did with Phil Davison???
    Also, when I wrote the comment on the last post of yours, my verification word I had to enter was "butfic". Do you think that's appropriate???

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  2. This is too funny! I think we should all write wikipedia entries on ourselves. I would be sure to note my record-breaking ascent of Mr. Kilimanjaro, my single-handedly saving a school of dolphins stranded off the coast of Bali, and my hidden talent of shooting water through my front two teeth up to a distance of 14 feet. :)

    And, I actually don't think Daniel Tosh is gay.

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  3. Joy--still trying to figure out the Tosh.O thing...I've seen a few web redemptions, but not Phil Davison! [Getting on YouTube right now.] And as far as the word 'butfic'? Well....let's just say it makes me uncomfortable. Lindsay--I think we should make wikipedia entries for our friends/husbands/other relatives we want to humiliate online. :) Can you really shoot water through your teeth? If so, I'll be working on a way that you can make some money off of that. :)

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