Someone Grab A Bucket....

That's right: it's 'blog vomit,' Round Two. Seeing as how my bff Rachael confirmed to me that a) someone other than me reads this blog and b) I am as hilarious as I thought, I decided to stick with a formula that works.

I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize this, but Conan is now on at 11pm, which means I will NEVER be forced to watch the local late news again. I know that this blog is read internationally, so for readers who aren't familiar with H-town, the news lineup goes something like this: begin with arrests, drug confiscations, murders, robberies and domestic violence incidents, segue into the failing economy and how many jobs have been lost that day, move on to how horribly unhealthy our state is, and wrap it up with a nice segment on national research studies that show how breathing air may or may not cause cancer and also how every single choice we make in our lives is (possibly) killing us.

Conan is a guarantee WIN compared to local news (and 98% of other 11pm programming).

I really, really, really stink at sewing. Although I'm blaming tonight's frustration and poor outcomes on my mom's cranky sewing machine. Seriously? There's wayyyyyy more than enough attitude in this house coming from my kids. I sure don't need it coming from a machine that is--hello!--replaceable. Although, I think all of the hand-stitching I had to do is the culprit behind the intermittent numbness in my left index finger.

I think I'd love to sleep for approximately 3.2 days, straight. Not only would I be more rested than EVER, I would probably also lose weight, I'd have an insane amount of energy, and I could avoid having to plan/make/serve/clean up 3 days' worth of meals. However, I'm pretty sure it would look like our house exploded if Adam was taking care of the kids for 3 straight days. After 2 hours of him alone with them, I can usually see 2% of the hardwood floors in my house, and generally neither kid is still fully clothed.

I love my Sunday School class.

I'm so tired--I think I'll try going to bed at the same time the kids do tomorrow night.....which means I'll probably be awake at 4am; at which point you'll probably find another delightful post much like this. Get excited, y'all


The end.

PS Why is the show called "Tosh.0"? Anyone?

PPS Is Daniel Tosh gay or not? Does anyone REALLY know for sure? (And don't check Wikipedia, because it's not decisive on the matter; I already checked it.)

PPPS Which reminds me.....someday, I'd like to edit an article on Wikipedia just for fun. According to Michael Scott, "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." So wise. :)

Stream of Consciousness

I thought about titling this post "Blog Vomit" but I thought that might be a little strong for the 2 readers of my blog. But I think it's probably more accurate for what's about to happen in this post. I'm really tired of THINKING I need to blog, but just putting it off until I have the time and energy (and a half-decent idea for the content) at the same time. So, watch out...here it comes.....random thoughts, being spewed, if you will, out of my brain and on to the Interweb. Should be exciting.....

It hurts to breathe right now. And swallow. I should probably just go to bed, but seeing as how I slept 2 hours during the kids' naps and then slept another hour after coming home from the doctor (oh, right: and the THREE 32-oz. diet cokes I had today--seriously, that's the only thing that helped my sore throat. Get off me.), I don't think I'll be sleeping until next week. But if I stay awake, I'm going to have to eat something. Everything hurts to eat, though, and the food is WAYYYYY over there in the kitchen. Think I'll just sit here and watch another episode of House Hunters...

Everyone in our house is on antibiotics except for Adam, who is scheduled to have surgery on Wednesday. Hope he stays healthy until then...

Something smells like baby puke somewhere near me.....last night when I smelled something funky, it turned out to be me. Sorry, world: I don't shower every 24 hours. But apparently I should aim for something closer to that number.

Laundry is torturous. WHY do you keep harassing me, Laundry? Go away, Laundry. Forever. Can't wait till the kids are old enough to carry laundry baskets down the steps. I'll start on training them tomorrow.

I think it's funny to look at little kid toys that have smiling faces, and see them strewn all over the floor, all dejected-like. I feel like that if they could talk, they'd say, "Don't believe this smile on my face. I'm hurting inside! Look at me! I've been violated by a 12 month-old and left under the TV!" Kind of like Toy Story 3, where the toys get abused and are all upset about it.

Did you ever notice how many voice overs Tim Allen and John-what's-his-name (the dad from Roseanne) do? Also, do you all like to try & determine if the person's voice in a commercial is someone famous? (And of course, when I say "you all," I mean "you two").

I've never been to Fat Patty's. I hope to fix that soon. Crap. I'm hungry again.....better go dig around for some applesauce....

The end.